Are You Ableist?
25 Nov, 2024
As an ambitious practitioner, academic, overachiever, and perfectionist, I’m the first to admit that “my brain treats me like sh*t most of the time… the worst part though is that I allow it to happen.”
Despite consistently good academic grades and a privileged upbringing, my stammer and mental health issues have always made me feel like I didn’t belong in the room, let alone at the table. This is somewhat ironic, given that I’m also a Mental Health First Aider—but hey, we rarely take our own advice, do we?
I’ve always considered myself “the most loyal friend anyone could ask for,” but I’ve been stung several times over the years by false friends, which always ended in tears. Much like the traits of fraud victims, if you’re a victim once, you’re much more likely to be one again. So it’s probably no surprise that I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since my teens. Add an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, and a speech impediment to the mix, and there you have it!
The Fear
To some extent, my ambition reduced the noise caused by my mental illness, leading me to advance in my career at a fast pace—becoming a Head of Department at age 29 and a Director by 31. However, the downside was that, in my eyes, “my career became my entire sense of identity.”
Moreover, for reasons beyond my comprehension, many people felt compelled to share their unsolicited opinions. Over the years, a handful of family members, “friends,” and colleagues have told me things like:
- "I reckon they only offered you the job out of sympathy."
- “Your PhD is worthless.”
- “You need to stop being so nice.”
- "You faked your way to the top… I have no idea why my predecessor hired you.”
Is it really any surprise that imposter syndrome has followed me around for so long?
The Idea
I was made redundant at the end of January 2024. During my garden leave, I struggled with imposter syndrome and mental illness more than ever—triggered by the redundancy. Not only did I feel like I’d been stripped of my identity, but given that I was the only person who was made redundant, I truly struggled with the theory of ‘the role is redundant, not me.’
I’ve been vocal for years about mental wellbeing and disability inclusion, so after publishing several LinkedIn posts revealing my own vulnerabilities, I decided to reach out to others in the industry to see if they had felt the same way during their careers.
To my relief, many did.
I quickly found four individuals who were eager to join me in sharing their anecdotes on a live webinar. So, the one-off “Fight the Fraud – Feel a Fraud” webinar was born. After promoting it on LinkedIn, within the same week, I was approached by twelve more individuals in the UK and US who wanted to do the same. By the end of that week, the one-off webinar had grown into a five-part series!
“Fight the Fraud – Feel a Fraud” consisted of five webinars from May to July 2024, with four speakers in each session, where I moderated and also acted as a speaker. The speakers included both males and females across public and private sectors, including UK Finance, Eversheds Sutherland, KPMG, and the Public Sector Fraud Authority.
The webinar series was designed for counter-fraud professionals to share their experiences, anecdotes, and advice related to imposter syndrome and mental wellbeing. By featuring some of the most senior, well-known, and successful individuals in the counter-fraud industry, we sent a very clear message to the audience that these obstacles affect most of us—even those who are very successful, multi-award-winning, or seem to ‘have it all worked out’ on LinkedIn.
Thanks to About Fraud in the US, the webinars were conducted on an online platform that enabled audience participation—allowing them to ask questions to the speakers and share their thoughts too.
As well as being a live series, the webinars were recorded for those in other time zones who couldn’t join live. The series attracted over 600 registrants online, across six continents!
One of the most beautiful outcomes of this webinar series was that some speakers used this opportunity to share feelings and anecdotes they’d never before felt comfortable expressing.
The Discussions
The topics discussed across all the webinars were vast, but here are ten of the most popular ones:
- Traits of best/worst line managers
- Emotional intelligence at work
- Tattoos, hair dye, and general appearance—are they blockers to success?
- How to not take work home with you
- Can imposter syndrome be seen as a positive?
- Opinions on the use of the word ‘expert’ in your online bio
- Best/worst advice you’ve ever been given at work
- Balancing working with victims of fraud and protecting your own wellbeing
- Battling imposter syndrome when starting your own business
- Liam Neeson’s genitals (…don’t ask!)
The Feedback
In July 2024, the “Fight the Fraud – Feel a Fraud” webinar series was awarded the ‘Mental Health Initiative of the Year’ at the Surrey Regional Business Awards. In September 2024, the webinar series was shortlisted as a finalist for “Support Network of the Year” at the Great British Businesswoman Awards 2025.
Some testimonials from attendees of Series I include:
- "I was in tears whilst watching the first webinar because I realized for the first time that I'm not alone."
- "In my 40 years of attending or running in-person/online meetings in the Compliance or FinCrime/Fraud space, that was a first."
- “A fab initiative, tackling some of the most difficult and personal topics you could attempt.”
- “Following my severe depression diagnosis last year, I’ve been signed off work. It can get dark in those moments. I watched the first webinar and just wanted to say hearing peers talk openly in that forum was a huge moment for me... it made a big difference at a crucial moment for me. Thank you.”
- “The series was absolutely genius—creating a safe space that [...] was an incredibly personal approach for such a large-scale event.”
Bearing in mind that “Fight the Fraud – Feel a Fraud” was intended to be a one-off webinar that rapidly turned into five (but then that really was it)... probably the most telling feedback of all was that, before the first series even ended, dozens of people got in touch with me to say they couldn’t wait for the next series…!
So, I’m delighted and deeply moved to share that “Fight the Fraud – Feel a Fraud” will return in early 2025 for Series II.
By Claire Maillet, Counter-Fraud Expert and PhD Researcher
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